Let's Play Pretend

Title: Let's play pretend.
Pairing Leo/Raph
Rating: M/16 (Don’t make me ask for your ID)
Contains: Angst, T-cest, mature content, feels (if you no like, don’t read)
By: Ryu-Amio (I own no turtles)

Summary: They used to play together all the time.

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"Hey Leo..." Mikey whispered into the dojo "Wanna go play?"

Leo's focus broke and turned to his three brothers poking their heads around the corner of the dojo's entrance, beckoning him to leave the bore of meditation.  
He looked up at the imposing visage of his master sitting beside him, seemingly asleep, and smiled slyly.

As he had done many a time, the young turtle tip-toed from his sensei's side to go play.
Each time the weary master would simply smile and shake his head the second Leo left to join his brothers.

In the days where the surface world was a distant dream, the four would play.
The fate of the city above and the lives of its people didn't weigh on their tiny shoulders, and they could indulge in bouts of make-believe, tests of chance and skill or games of discovery.

The four convened in the den of the Lair, and began their daily politics.

"What do we play today?" Mikey excitedly inquired, acting as the one who ultimately decides what the four will do together.

"Let's play 'Can you lift it?'" Raphael cockily stated.
His suggestion was met with groans and sighs.

"Maybe some other time Raphie, my arms still hurt from trying to lift the couch" Mikey whimpered.
Raph let out a crude humpf, but said nothing further.

A few moments passed before Donatello gave his suggestion.
"How about we play "Does it float?'"
While Leo and Don were in agreement on the choice, Mikey noticed Raph's dissatisfaction with the option.

"Sorry Donnie, we'll hold off on playing that for now," Mikey dictated.

When he noticed a saddened look on his brother's face, he quickly thought up an excuse why.
"Er, it's just we ran out of stuff to test last time." Mikey hastily said to snuff out the haze of despair forming in his brother's eye.
"We'll play that when we find some new stuff, okay?"

Donnie smiled, the young turtle satisfied with the ruling.

They went over a list of things they usually play before Leo finally said: "Let's just play pretend."

When all three of his brothers' faces lit up at the idea, Mikey decreed that playing pretend would be the order of the day.

"Sooo, what do we pretend?" Raph asked. The three fell silent looking to Mikey for inspiration.
He pondered briefly, then snapped his over-sized fingers with "Got it!"

Without a word further, Mikey ran off to get the Trunk: a massive suitcase filled with discarded clothes, makeshift props and toys to help build their make-believe worlds.

As the sound of heavy felt dragging on concrete grew louder, Raph hurried over to help bring the trunk into the heart of the Lair. Don and Leo watched as their brothers nestled the trunk beside the large blue couch in the middle of the den.

Mikey gleefully popped the lid of the Trunk before turning to his brothers and announcing:
"Let's play house!"

To normal children their age, playing pretend involved going into dungeons and battling monsters or going on adventures in distant lands. But for these four, the outrageous and bizarre were a common day thing.
Instead, they spend their days dreaming of what it would be like to be normal. Having a family, a job, cooking dinner and putting the kids to bed: these would be the worlds they imagine.

"Okay, first order of business" Mikey smirked as he rubbed his hands together
"Who's going to be... the baby?" In the same breath he shot his hand up and declared "Not it!"

Leo and Raph were soon to follow, leaving Don to take up the role that no one wants... again.
It had already been decided and there was no point in arguing. Thus Don took up the infant cowl and pacifier, accepting his role as the baby in this family, if what begrudgingly.

Mikey smiled, then turned his attention to Leo and Raph.
The next role needs to be carefully negotiated for. "Who's gonna be the daddy?"

Leo, stepped forward and boldly stated "That should be me of course"
Raph responded in outrage. "But you're ALWAYS the daddy. Let me be the daddy today." he demanded.

Donatello intervened, taking the pacifier out of his mouth. "He's right Leo, let Raph be the Daddy today."
Mikey grabbed the pacifier and popped it back in Don's mouth.
"Babies can't talk, remember?" he nagged, inciting Don to keep quiet.

Leo rolled his eyes, but agreed, allowing Mikey to pull a faded red tie out of the Trunk and tie it around Raph's neck, indicating that he is the father of the household.

"Guess that means you're the mommy, right Leo?" Mikey happily asked as he returned to the Trunk.

"Yeah yeah..."

When it came to roles, neither Raph nor Leo would accept any role other than a head of the family. Though they would often compete for the role of father, the loser would take no role other than the mother, the perceived second in command of the family.

Mikey pulled out a skirt, patterned with streaks of white and blue and clipped it on around Leo's waste, affirming his role and helping him to not break character.

"So what will you be today Mikey?" Raph asked, trying not to smirk at the thought of his tiny victory. "The stupid teenager? The goofy uncle? The surfer dude we rent our extra room to?"

"Nope, I'm gonna be the pastor." Mikey announced as he tied a black and white stripped sock around his neck.

Before his brothers could even ask what a pastor was Mikey excitedly blurted out his true intention
for today's game,
"We're gonna have a wedding!"

There was a brief silence.

Leo and Raph looked dumbfounded, never having heard of the concept while Don began rummaging through the Trunk for the appropriate props.

"What's a wedding?" Leo asked.
With Donatello distracted and forced to stay quiet, Mikey was left to answer.

"I saw it on a video someone threw down here. The label was kind of scratched off but... OH!" Mikey interrupted himself. "I think it's still in the machine!"

Mikey grabbed the TV remote from the couch's armrest and hit play.
The old television set loudly churned and buzzed before the screen came to life, first displaying a field of static before shifting over to a beautiful scene.

The boys beheld a sight they couldn't make much sense of: In a grand, old looking, stone building with beautifully colored windows, two humans, one wearing a simple black uniform and another dressed in a flowing white robe of some sort, stood facing each other hand-in-hand. The two stood before an alter, with an aged man presiding over them.

Leo and Raph watched with bewilderment as the video played and Mikey explained.
"This is kinda what humans have to do to be a mommy and a daddy, the one in white is the mommy..."

"And they all do this?" Raph asked, not turning his attention away form the screen.

"Most of them." Donatello stated, bringing over the articles of clothing he was looking for before receiving a cold glare from Mikey, enforcing the role of infant with impunity.

Don sighed, delivering a broken and bent top hat and a white stocking. He sat down and began fiddling with the stockings. Mikey smiled gleefully, setting the stage for a pseudo-wedding while Raph and Leo were still enamored with the video.

Raph looked over to Leo, who seemed utterly captivated by the blushing bride and groom as they exchanged vows and kissed.
"Pretty weird huh Leo?" he sneered.
"...yeah. Pretty..."

Leo seemed mesmerized, his words not even forming properly.
Even so, Raph could see what was really welling up in Leo's eyes.
It wasn't awe. Simply sorrow.
"Leo...?"

The young turtle turned to his brother, smiling wearily.
"They look really happy, huh Raphie?"
Raph bit his lip, unable to see his brother in such a state.

Suddenly, he hit the off button on the television and grabbed his brother's hand.
"Come on Leo. Let's get married already!" he then barked, wearing a smile that came all too easily.

Leo snapped out of reality and back into their pretend family with a firm nod and a carefree smile.

The two turned to find the Mikey had already set up a little chapel in the heart of the den, with rows to toys set to be the guests forming an aisle. The aisle itself, leading to where Mikey was waiting beside an alter made of shoe boxes, was decorated with once discarded Christmas lights and baubles.

Don handed Leo the stockings which had been bundled and woven into a faded white garland while Raph dawned the shambled top hat, both seemingly eager to play their part.
Don took a seat in the front row of the audience while Mikey tried to keep a large phone book balanced on his little alter.

Having watched the video in its entirety, Mikey ordered Raph to stand at the alter and allow Leo to walk down the aisle.
"Everyone needs to see the bride. It's her day after all." he snidely reasoned.
Leo took his steps, unsure at first, but soon he strode down the aisle brimming with confidence, smiling like a true bride to be.  

When Leo and Raph finally met at the alter Mikey handed Leo a little bouquet of plastic flowers, congratulating him, to which Raph could only cringe in delight. However, Leo simply blushed and accepted the flowers regardless.

Raph looked over at his bride and, upon noting the look of absolute joy on Leo's face, discarded any inhibition he might have had, ready to play this part that will make his brother happy, even if it is a brief joy.

Raph took Leo's hand as Mikey began the make believe ceremony.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man...turtle and... this, um, other turtle in holy mattersonly"

"...Matrimony." Don coughed from his seat between the other guests, causing Mikey to shooting a glare at him once again for breaking character.

"Ahem..." Mikey continued "Leonardo Hamato, do you promise to take Raphael Hamato, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till deaf do you part?"

Leo rose a brow "What does that mean?"

Mikey stalled for a bit before concluding: "It means that you'll stay with him until he either dies or does deaf, the sound on the video was a little bad."

Leo's eyes grew wide.
"Of course I'll stay with him. I'll stay no matter what happens to him. Even if he dies I still won't leave him." he shakily stated, not having expected marriage to involve death.
Mikey corrected him, telling him that if you agree with what the pastor says you have to say,
'I do'

"I don't! I'll stay," Leo stated firmly, squeezing Raph's hands a bit tighter "I promise I'll stay."
Raph's eyes began to gleam, he swallowed heavily, visibly shaken by his bother's conviction.

"Do... Do you really mean that Leo?"

Leo nodded strongly, filling Raph's little heart with the joy and pride known only to a true groom.

"Fine fine," Mikey argued "Do you promise to stay with him even if he dies?"

"I Do." Leo announced loudly, his voice ringing with strength and determination.

"Awesome!" Mikey exclaimed, happy that the ceremony can continue. He smiled as he turned his attention to Raph, who was visibly nervous.

"And do you, Raphael Hamato, take Leonardo Hamato to be your awfully wedded wife?"
     "...Lawfully." Donatello mumbled softly amidst the rows of toy guests.
"To have and to hold, in sickness and in wealth. Till death- er, even in death?"

Raph's heart started pounding in his chest. Beads of sweat formed on his brow as his young mind was trying to process everything that was being asked of him.

Then, just as his body began to tremble, he held tight the warm feeling of his brother's hand in his palm. Gripping it seemed to relieve his shaking and ease his heartache. In that moment his answer was clear and he made it known:

"I want him to be with me, forever."

While Leo's face beamed with a simple joy at these words, Mikey rose a brow, looking at his brother with disdain.

"Excuse me...?" Mikey coldly stated.

"Oh, er, I mean, I do."

Mikey smiled brightly.
"Then by the power invested into me by..." he paused, reading a line from the phone book.
"...The Brooklyn Phone Company. I now pronounce you Mommy and Daddy! You may kiss the Bride."

There was a sudden, uncomfortable silence that settled over the tiny chapel.

"K-kiss?" Leo stuttered.

"Well yeah," Mikey said nonchalantly. "That's what they did in the video right?"

Leo's face grew bright red and Raph seemed far to shocked to even respond, his mouth almost agape.

"M-mikey, You can't expect us to... k-kiss..."

Mikey shrugged. "Come on guys, it's part of the wedding.
You have to. As proof that what you've said here was true."

Leo glanced over at Raph, both of their hands trembling in each other.
He smiled, ready to prove his feelings to his brother, the one he will always want by his side.
...but then:

"No way." Raph said finally.
"I'm not doing it. I'm not kissing Leo."

Leo seemed almost physically hurt by Raph's words.

"Why... why not...?" Leo whimpered.

"I-I just don't want to! I'm not kissing you!" Raph stammered, removing his crooked top at as the world of make-believe suddenly shattered and began to crumble around them.

"But, it's to show you'll stay with me forever! Was that just a lie!?" Leo exclaimed.

Raph's face grew red, more in anger than embarrassment.
"T-that, That was just pretend!"
Raph stumbled back a bit, struggling to undo the tie fastened around his neck, knocking over several of the rows of toy spectators in the process.

"That's... that's so unfair..." Leo whispered, clutching his false bouquet of flowers.

His remark only seemed to anger Raphael even further.

"That's how life is Leo! Unfair. I'm not kissing you. Not now, not ever!"

Suddenly Leo retaliated, tossing the collection of plastic flowers at Raph's face.
"Well who would want to kiss an ugly mutant like you anyway!?"

Raph's eyes grew wide at his brother's remark.

"Ugly huh...?"

"Now Raph, Leo, please..." Mikey tried to restore peace between the two, but the sparks of anger and confusion were already flying.

"You're right Leo, I'm ugly. I'm a mutant. But you know what? So are you!
So all this playing pretend is stupid! What's the point?! Not like we'll ever really marry!"

"Why is... pretending to be happy so bad?"

"Because it.. It just is! Okay!?"

"If you keep thinking like that... then you'll end up all alone Raph!" Leo's voice rose.

"Just like you Leo! Just like ALL of us!
We're just gonna grow old and die alone!"
Raph exploded, knocking over Mikey's alter in his fit.

Leo said nothing. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he refused to cry.
He turned and left, heading back towards the dojo, trying to keep what little pride he had left in tact... still clad in that stripped skirt and garland.

A silence followed. One that was so long and so cold that it filled the entire Lair.
Toys were put away.
The Trunk was closed.
And the four spent a long while apart.

Late that night, when all four should have been in bed.
One was still in the dojo, trying to find solace.
And another was just outside the dojo, trying to find the words to apologize.

Raph, having had time to cool his temper, peeked into the dojo's entrance, seeing Leo curled up under the bough of the tree that made its home in the heart of their dojo. A soft light falling into the darkened dojo from above was all that stood between them.

"Leo...?"


"Go away."

Leo, no longer dressed for his make believe wedding, huddled against the stump of the tree, hiding his face as best he could. Raph approached regardless.

Saying nothing, he sat down beside his brother.
The cold night air soon forced the two closer together.
A lump in Raph's throat prolonged the silence until it was Leo who spoke.

"Would it really have been so bad...? To just pretend?"

"It would."

"Why?"

"Because... If I kissed you. I might-"
Raph stopped himself.

"Might what?" Leo sat up, intrigued.

Raph's face grew bright red, and amidst the dark and past a few grumbles he was able to say:
"...I might like it."

Leo's face went blank.
"Is that why you got so angry?"

"N-no... well... Kinda. I don't know."

Leo smiled wearily, remembering his brother's difficulty with expressing emotions.
And then, taking his little brother into his embrace, all was forgiven.

"Do you... still wanna try it?" Leo tentatively inquired.

Raph swallowed audibly, but said nothing, not wanting his word to get in the way this time.
Both leaned closer and closed their eyes.  

Wrapped in silence and bathed in the moonlight trickling down into the Lair from the skylight above, the two shared their first kiss. It was a shy kiss. Not fueled by lust or passion or even curiosity. A kiss of pure and honest love.

It lasted longer than either of them anticipated.

And it ended with Leo beginning to chuckle softly.
He pulled away. A smile painted on his face as he tried to keep from giggling too loudly.

"Wh-what's so funny?" Raph asked, more than a little flustered.

"Heh, nothing, it's just, your breathing was tickling me."

"O-oh... s-sorry."

Leo settled back down beside his brother, happy that their troubles could be resolved so easily.
"So, did you like it?" He then asked arrogantly.

"D-don't ask stuff like that. Lame-o."

The eerie silence that had filled the Lair that day seemed to fade away, giving way to a deep, peaceful quiet. Soon both grew tired, but neither one wanting to leave the other's side. As their eyelids grew heavy, Leo turned to say one last thing.

"I guess this means we're married now, huh? Still promise to stay with me forever?"

Raph took his brother's hand, and just as the two drifted off into their dreams, he whispered:

"I do..."

End.